What is your wildest dream?
30 days of writing
My wildest dream is that I hope I can time travel back to the past, maybe 10 or 20 years ago, with this current mental condition.
Perhaps it’s due to my reading fiction hobby, or I’m just strongly denying my current condition. I mean, I’m not at my worst or having any mental health issues or stuff; I just love letting my mind wander around and processing all the input from every moment in my entire life.
(Btw, I have read a lot of Manhwa with a plot like that.)
I think it’s interesting to see a 5-year-old me who can act like an adult. I don’t need to learn these, I don’t need to learn those, and the most important thing is knowing what will happen in the future. That would be amazing! As a loner, I was always afraid of how the people around me would act toward me. So, I think getting a little clue about the future would be helpful.
Based on that unrealistic thought, I reflected that, as a human, there must be an ungrateful character inside, which brings me many regrets and makes me not accept the current condition. Such as thinking, I was supposed to do this back then; actually, I can do much better; I should get a better result; or I can fix all my problems in this time.
Simply put, it cages me in the past and blinds me to how bright the future awaits.
Moreover, see it from another point of view. Dreaming and fiction help me keep sane and overcome any bad thinking. Like determining which is better to do, daydreaming, or thinking about someone’s wrongdoing. Of course, narrating a fictional story is better than enjoying a useless one.
Furthermore, it could be an opportunity if I can take advantage of my wildest dream. I can learn from it to stay positive and use it as an improvement tool to achieve my real dream. Again, the wildest, most unrealistic, and most insane dreams live in my mind and lead me to my reality.
Short learning….
Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to control myself and making a lot of mistakes.
Sometimes I regret the decision I made.
Sometimes I feel sorry for being clumsy and cringe
But….
I am making a concerted effort to stop blaming myself for my past.
I am strongly assured that I can come this far because I’ve learned a lot from my past.
So I never took any of my fictional whims seriously. I'm just happy to live with them. They are my friends in solitude who keep me thoughtful. Besides the fiction of my wildest dreams, I still have many attainable dreams. Fiction is a bridge to help me reach them.
Instead of time-traveling to the past, I better face the future confidently.
I can’t change my past, but I can create my future.
